第1章

\"byMichaelAngeloTitmarch。\"

I。OntheDisintermentofNapoleonatSt。HelenaII。OntheVoyagefromSt。HelenatoParisIII。OntheFuneralCeremony

I。

ONTHEDISINTERMENTOFNAPOLEONATST。HELENA。

MYDEAR————，——Itisnoeasytaskinthisworldtodistinguishbetweenwhatisgreatinit，andwhatismean;andmanyandmanyisthepuzzlethatIhavehadinreadingHistory（ortheworksoffictionwhichgobythatname），toknowwhetherIshouldlauduptotheskies，andendeavor，tothebestofmysmallcapabilities，toimitatetheremarkablecharacteraboutwhomIwasreading，orwhetherIshouldflingasidethebookandtheheroofit，asthingsaltogetherbase，unworthy，laughable，andgetanovel，oragameofbilliards，orapipeoftobacco，orthereportofthelastdebateintheHouse，oranyotheremploymentwhichwouldleavethemindinastateofeasyvacuity，ratherthanpesteritwithavainsetofdatesrelatingtoactionswhichareinthemselvesnotworthafig，orwithaparcelofnamesofpeoplewhomitcandoonenoearthlygoodtoremember。

Itismorethanprobable，mylove，thatyouareacquaintedwithwhatiscalledGrecianandRomanhistory，chieflyfromperusing，inveryearlyyouth，thelittlesheepskin—boundvolumesoftheingeniousDr。

Goldsmith，andhavebeenindebtedforyourknowledgeoftheEnglishannalstoasubsequentstudyofthemorevoluminousworksofHumeandSmollett。Thefirstandthelast—namedauthors，dearMissSmith，havewritteneachanadmirablehistory，——thatoftheReverendDr。Primrose，VicarofWakefield，andthatofMr。RobertBramble，ofBrambleHall——inbothofwhichworksyouwillfindtrueandinstructivepicturesofhumanlife，andwhichyoumayalwaysthinkoverwithadvantage。Butletmecautionyouagainstputtinganyconsiderabletrustintheotherworksoftheseauthors，whichwereplacedinyourhandsatschoolandafterwards，andinwhichyouweretaughttobelieve。Modernhistorians，forthemostpart，knowverylittle，and，secondly，onlytellalittleofwhattheyknow。

AsforthoseGreeksandRomanswhomyouhavereadofin\"sheepskin，\"

wereyoutoknowreallywhatthosemonsterswere，youwouldblushalloverasredasahollyhock，andputdownthehistory—bookinafury。ManyofourEnglishworthiesarenobetter。Youarenotinasituationtoknowtherealcharactersofanyoneofthem。Theyappearbeforeyouintheirpubliccapacities，buttheindividualsyouknownot。Suppose，forinstance，yourmammahadpurchasedherteaintheBoroughfromagrocerlivingtherebythenameofGreenacre:supposeyouhadbeenaskedouttodinner，andthegentlemanofthehousehadsaid:\"Ho！Francois！aglassofchampagneforMissSmith;\"——Courvoisierwouldhaveservedyoujustasanyotherfootmanwould;youwouldneverhaveknownthattherewasanythingextraordinaryintheseindividuals，butwouldhavethoughtofthemonlyintheirrespectivepubliccharactersofGrocerandFootman。This，Madam，isHistory，inwhichamanalwaysappearsdealingwiththeworldinhisapron，orhislacedlivery，butwhichhasnotthepowerortheleisure，or，perhaps，istoohighandmightytocondescendtofollowandstudyhiminhisprivacy。Ah，mydear，whenbigandlittlemencometobemeasuredrightly，andgreatandsmallactionstobeweighedproperly，andpeopletobestrippedoftheirroyalrobes，beggars\'rags，generals\'uniforms，seedyout—

at—elbowedcoats，andthelike——orthecontrarysay，whensoulscometobestrippedoftheirwickeddeceivingbodies，andturnedoutstarknakedastheywerebeforetheywereborn——whatastrangestartlingsightshallwesee，andwhataprettyfigureshallsomeofuscut！FancyhowweshallseePride，withhisStultzclothesandpaddingpulledoff，anddwindleddowntoaforkedradish！FancysomeAngelicVirtue，whosewhiteraimentissuddenlywhiskedoverhishead，showingusclovenfeetandatail！FancyHumility，easedofitssadloadofcaresandwantandscorn，walkinguptotheveryhighestplaceofall，andblushingashetakesit！Fancy，——butwemustnotfancysuchasceneatall，whichwouldbeanoutrageonpublicdecency。Shouldwebeanybetterthanourneighbors？No，certainly。Andaswecan\'tbevirtuous，letusbedecent。

Figleavesareaverydecent，becomingwear，andhavebeennowinfashionforfourthousandyears。Andso，mydear，historyiswrittenonfig—leaves。Wouldyouhaveanythingfurther？Ofie！

Yes，fourthousandyearsagothatfamoustreewasplanted。Attheirveryfirstlie，ourfirstparentsmadeforit，andthereitisstillthegreatHumbugPlant，stretchingitswidearms，andshelteringbeneathitsleaves，asbroadandgreenasever，allthegenerationsofmen。Thus，mydear，coquettesofyourfascinatingsexcovertheirpersonswithfiggery，fantasticallyarranged，andcalltheirmasquerading，modesty。Cowardsfigthemselvesoutfiercelyas\"salvagemen，\"andmakeusbelievethattheyarewarriors。Foolslookverysolemnlyoutfromtheduskoftheleaves，andwefancyinthegloomthattheyaresages。Andmanyamansetsagreatwreathabouthispateandstrutsabroadahero，whoseclaimswewouldallofuslaughat，couldwebutremovetheornamentandseehisnumskullbare。

Andsuch——（excusemysermonizing）——suchistheconstitutionofmankind，thatmenhave，asitwere，enteredintoacompactamongthemselvestopursuethefig—leafsystemal\'outrance，andtocrydownallwhoopposeit。Humbugtheywillhave。Humbugsthemselves，theywillrespecthumbugs。Theirdailyvictualsoflifemustbeseasonedwithhumbug。Certainthingsarethereintheworldthattheywillnotallowtobecalledbytheirrightnames，andwillinsistuponouradmiring，whetherwewillorno。WoebetothemanwhowouldentertoofarintotherecessesofthatmagnificenttemplewhereourGoddessisenshrined，peepthroughthevastembroideredcurtainsindiscreetly，penetratethesecretofsecrets，andexposetheGammonofGammons！Andasyoumustnotpeertoocuriouslywithin，soneithermustyouremainscornfullywithout。Humbug—

worshippers，letuscomeintoourgreattempleregularlyanddecently:takeourseats，andsettleourclothesdecently;openourbooks，andgothroughtheservicewithdecentgravity;listen，andbedecentlyaffectedbytheexpositionsofthedecentpriestoftheplace;andifbychancesomestragglingvagabond，loiteringinthesunshineoutofdoors，darestolaughortosing，anddisturbthesanctifieddulnessofthefaithful;——quick！acoupleofbigbeadlesrushoutandbelaborthewretch，andhisyellsmakeourdevotionsmorecomfortable。

SomemagnificentreligiousceremoniesofthisnatureareatpresenttakingplaceinFrance;andthinkingthatyoumightperhapswhileawaysomelongwintereveningwithanaccountofthem，Ihavecompiledthefollowingpagesforyouruse。Newspapershavebeenfilled，forsomedayspast，withdetailsregardingtheSt。Helenaexpedition，manypamphletshavebeenpublished，mengoaboutcryinglittlebooksandbroadsheetsfilledwithrealorshamparticulars;

andfromthesescarceandvaluabledocumentsthefollowingpagesarechieflycompiled。

Wemustbeginatthebeginning;premising，inthefirstplace，thatMonsieurGuizot，whenFrenchAmbassadoratLondon，waiteduponLordPalmerstonwitharequestthatthebodyoftheEmperorNapoleonshouldbegivenuptotheFrenchnation，inorderthatitmightfindafinalresting—placeinFrenchearth。TothisdemandtheEnglishGovernmentgaveareadyassent;norwasthereanyparticularexplosionofsentimentuponeitherside，onlysomeprettycordialexpressionsofmutualgood—will。OrdersweresentouttoSt。Helenathatthecorpseshouldbedisinterredinduetime，whentheFrenchexpeditionhadarrivedinsearchofit，andthateveryrespectandattentionshouldhepaidtothosewhocametocarrybacktotheircountrythebodyofthefamousdeadwarriorandsovereign。

Thismatterbeingarrangedinveryfewwords（asinEngland，uponmostpoints，isthelaudablefashion），theFrenchChambersbegantodebateabouttheplaceinwhichtheyshouldburythebodywhentheygotit;andnumberlesspamphletsandnewspapersoutofdoorsjoinedinthetalk。SomepeopletherewerewhohadfoughtandconqueredandbeenbeatenwiththegreatNapoleon，andlovedhimandhismemory。Manymoreweretherewho，becauseofhisgreatgeniusandvalor，feltexcessivelyproudintheirownparticularpersons，andclamoredforthereturnoftheirhero。Andifthereweresomefewindividualsinthisgreathot—headed，gallant，boasting，sublime，absurdFrenchnation，whohadtakenacoolviewofthedeadEmperor\'scharacter;if，perhaps，suchmenasLouisPhilippe，andMonsieurA。Thiers，MinisterandDeputy，andMonsieurFrancoisGuizot，DeputyandExcellency，had，frominterestorconviction，opinionsatalldifferingfromthoseofthemajority;why，theyknewwhatwaswhat，andkepttheiropinionstothemselves，comingwithatolerablygoodgraceandflingingafewhandfulsofincenseuponthealtarofthepopularidol。