第1章

Rightlyorwrongly，itiscertainthatamanbothliberalandchivalric，canandveryoftendoesfeeladis-easeanddistrusttouchingthosepoliticalwomenwecallSuffragettes。Likemostotherpopularsentiments，itisgenerallywronglystatedevenwhenitisrightlyfelt。Onepartofitcanbeputmostshortlythus:thatwhenawomanputsupherfiststoamansheisputtingherselfintheonlypostureinwhichheisnotafraidofher。Hecanbeafraidofherspeechandstillmoreofhersilence；butforceremindshimofarustedbutveryrealweaponofwhichhehasgrownashamed。Butthesecrudesummariesareneverquiteaccurateinanymatteroftheinstincts。Forthethingswhicharethesimplestsolongastheyareundisputedinvariablybecomethesubtlestwhenoncetheyaredisputed:whichwaswhatJoubertmeant，Isuppose，whenhesaid，\"ItisnothardtobelieveinGodifonedoesnotdefineHim。”WhentheevilinstinctsofoldFoulonmadehimsayofthepoor，\"Letthemeatgrass，\"

thegoodandChristianinstinctsofthepoormadethemhanghimonalamp-

postwithhismouthstuffedfullofthatvegetation。Butifamodernvegetarianaristocratweretosaytothepoor，\"Butwhydon\'tyoulikegrass？\"theirintelligenceswouldbemuchmoretaxedtofindsuchanappropriaterepartee。Andthismatterofthefunctionsofthesexesisprimarilyamatteroftheinstincts；sexandbreathingareabouttheonlytwothingsthatgenerallyworkbestwhentheyareleastworriedabout。

That，Isuppose，iswhythesamesophisticatedagethathaspoisonedtheworldwithFeminismisalsopollutingitwithBreathingExercises。Weplungeatonceintoaforestoffalseanalogiesandbadblunderinghistory；whilealmostanymanorwomanlefttothemselveswouldknowatleastthatsexisquitedifferentfromanythingelseintheworld。

Thereisnokindofcomparisonpossiblebetweenaquarrelofmanandwoman(howeverrightthewomanmaybe)andtheotherquarrelsofslaveandmaster，ofrichandpoor，orofpatriotandinvader，withwhichtheSuffragistsdelugeuseveryday。Thedifferenceisasplainasnoon；

theseotheraliengroupsnevercameintocontactuntiltheycameintocollision。Racesandranksbeganwithbattle，eveniftheyafterwardsmeltedintoamity。Buttheveryfirstfactaboutthesexesisthattheylikeeachother。Theyseekeachother:andawfulasarethesinsandsorrowsthatoftencomeoftheirmating，itwasnotsuchthingsthatmadethemmeet。Itisutterlyastoundingtonotethewayinwhichmodernwritersandtalkersmissthisplain，wide，andoverwhelmingfact:onewouldsupposewomanavictimandnothingelse。Bythisaccountideal，emancipatedwomanhas，ageafterage，beenknockedsillywithastoneaxe。

Butreallythereisnofacttoshowthatideal，emancipatedwomanwaseverknockedsilly；exceptthefactthatsheissilly。Andthatmighthaveariseninsomanyotherways。Realresponsiblewomanhasneverbeensilly；andanyonewishingtoknockherwouldbewise(likethestreet-

boys)toknockandrunaway。Itisultimatelyidiotictocomparethisprehistoricparticipationwithanyroyaltiesorrebellions。Genuineroyaltieswishtocrushrebellions。Genuinerebelswishtodestroykings。

Thesexescannotwishtoabolisheachother；andifweallowthemanysortofpermanentoppositionitwillsinkintosomethingasbaseasapartysystem。

Asmarriage，therefore，isrootedinanaboriginalunityofinstincts，youcannotcompareit，eveninitsquarrels，withanyofthemerecollisionsofseparateinstitutions。Youcouldcompareitwiththeemancipationofnegroesfromplanters——ifitweretruethatawhitemaninearlyyouthalwaysdreamedoftheabstractbeautyofablackman。Youcouldcompareitwiththerevoltoftenantsagainstalandlord——ifitweretruethatyounglandlordswrotesonnetstoinvisibletenants。YoucouldcompareittothefightingpolicyoftheFenians-ifitweretruethateverynormalIrishmanwantedanEnglishmantocomeandlivewithhim。

Butasweknowtherearenoinstinctsinanyofthesedirections，theseanalogiesarenotonlyfalsebutfalseonthecardinalfact。Idonotspeakofthecomparativecomfortormeritofthesedifferentthings:I

saytheyaredifferent。Itmaybethatloveturnedtohateisterriblycommoninsexualmatters:itmaybethathateturnedtoloveisnotuncommonintherivalriesofraceorclass。Butanyphilosophyaboutthesexesthatbeginswithanythingbutthemutualattractionofthesexes，beginswithafallacy；andallitshistoricalcomparisonsareasirrelevantandimpertinentaspuns。

Buttoexposesuchcoldnegationoftheinstinctsiseasy:toexpressorevenhalfexpresstheinstinctsisveryhard。Theinstinctsareverymuchconcernedwithwhatliterarypeoplecall\"style\"inlettersormorevulgarpeoplecall\"style\"indress。Theyaremuchconcernedwithhowathingisdone，aswellaswhetheronemaydoit:andthedeepestelementsintheirattractionoraversioncanoftenonlybeconveyedbystrayexamplesorsuddenimages。WhenDantonwasdefendinghimselfbeforetheJacobintribunalhespokesoloudthathisvoicewasheardacrosstheSeine，inquiteremotestreetsontheothersideoftheriver。

HemusthavebellowedlikeabullofBashan。Yetnoneofuswouldthinkofthatprodigyexceptassomethingpoeticalandappropriate。NoneofuswouldinstinctivelyfeelthatDantonwaslessofamanorevenlessofagentleman，forspeakingsoinsuchanhour。ButsupposeweheardthatMarieAntoinette，whentriedbeforethesametribunal，hadhowledsothatshecouldbeheardintheFaubourgSt。Germain——well，Ileaveittotheinstincts，ifthereareanyleft。Itisnotwrongtohowl。Neitherisitright。Itissimplyaquestionoftheinstantimpressionontheartisticandevenanimalpartsofhumanity，ifthenoisewereheardsuddenlylikeagun。

Perhapsthenearestverbalanalysisoftheinstinctmayhefoundinthegesturesoftheoratoraddressingacrowd。Forthetrueoratormustalwaysbeademagogue:evenifthemobbeasmallmob，likethe。FrenchcommitteeortheEnglishHouseofLords。And\"demagogue，\"inthegoodGreekmeaning，doesnotmeanonewhopleasesthepopulace，butonewholeadsit:andifyouwillnotice，youwillseethatalltheinstinctivegesturesoforatoryaregesturesofmilitaryleadership；pointingthepeopletoapathorwavingthemontoanadvance。Noticethatlongsweepofthearmacrossthebodyandoutward，whichgreatoratorsusenaturallyandcheaporatorsartificially。Itisalmosttheexactgestureofthedrawingofasword。

Thepointisnotthatwomenareunworthyofvotes；itisnoteventhatvotesareunworthyofwomen。Itisthatvotesareunworthyofmen，solongastheyaremerelyvotes；andhavenothinginthemofthisancientmilitarismofdemocracy。Theonlycrowdworthtalkingtoisthecrowdthatisreadytogosomewhereanddosomething；theonlydemagogueworthhearingishewhocanpointatsomethingtobedone:and，ifhepointswithasword，willonlyfeelitfamiliarandusefullikeanelongatedfinger。Now，exceptinsomemysticalexceptionswhichprovetherule，thesearenotthegestures，andthereforenottheinstincts，ofwomen。

Nohonestmandislikesthepublicwoman。Hecanonlydislikethepoliticalwoman；anentirelydifferentthing。Theinstincthasnothingtodowithanydesiretokeepwomencurtainedorcaptive:ifsuchadesireexists。Ahusbandwouldbepleasedifhiswifeworeagoldcrownandproclaimedlawsfromathroneofmarble；orifsheutteredoraclesfromthetripodofapriestess；orifshecouldwalkinmysticalmotherhoodbeforetheprocessionofsomegreatreligiousorder。Butthatsheshouldstandonaplatformintheexactaltitudeinwhichhestands；

leaningforwardalittlemorethanisgracefulandholdinghermouthopenalittlelongerandwiderthanisdignified——well，Ionlywritehereofthefactsofnaturalhistory；andthefactisthatitisthis，andnotpublicityorimportance，thathurts。Itisforthemodernworldtojudgewhethersuchinstinctsareindeeddangersignals；andwhetherthehurtingofmoralasofmaterialnervesisatocsinandawarningofnature。

THEPOETANDTHECHEESE

ThereissomethingcreepyintheflatEasternCounties；abrushofthewhitefeather。Thereisastillness，whichisratherofthemindthanofthebodilysenses。Rapidchangesandsuddenrevelationsofscenery，evenwhentheyaresoundless，havesomethinginthemanalogoustoamovementofmusic，toacrashoracry。Mountainhamletsspringoutonuswithashoutlikemountainbrigands。Comfortablevalleysacceptuswithopenarmsandwarmwords，likecomfortableinnkeepers。Buttravellinginthegreatlevellandshasacuriouslystillandlonelyquality；lonelyevenwhenthereareplentyofpeopleontheroadandinthemarket-place。

One\'svoiceseemstobreakanalmostelvishsilence，andsomethingunreasonablyweirdinthephraseofthenurserytales，\"Andhewentalittlefartherandcametoanotherplace，\"comesbackintothemind。

InsomesuchmoodIcamealongalean，paleroadsouthofthefens，andfoundmyselfinalarge，quiet，andseeminglyforgottenvillage。Itwasoneofthoseplacesthatinstantlyproduceaframeofmindwhich，itmaybe，oneafterwardsdecksoutwithunrealdetails。Idaresaythatgrassdidnotreallygrowinthestreets，butIcameawaywithacuriousimpressionthatitdid。Idaresaythemarketplacewasnotliterallylonelyandwithoutsignoflife，butitleftthevagueimpressionofbeingso。Theplacewaslargeandevenlooseindesign，yetithadtheairofsomethinghiddenawayandalwaysoverlooked。Itseemedshy，likeabigyokel；thelowroofsseemedtobeduckingbehindthehedgesandrailings；andthechimneysholdingtheirbreath。Icameintoitinthatdeadhouroftheafternoonwhichisneitherafterlunchnorbeforetea，noranythingelseevenonahalf-holiday；andIhadafantasticfeelingthatIhadstrayedintoalostandextrahourthatisnotnumberedinthetwenty-four。

Ienteredaninnwhichstoodopenlyinthemarket-placeyetwasalmostasprivateasaprivatehouse。Thosewhotalkof\"public-houses\"asiftheywerealloneproblemwouldhavebeenbothpuzzledandpleasedwithsuchaplace。Inthefrontwindowastoutoldladyinblackwithanelaboratecapsatdoingalargepieceofneedlework。ShehadakindofcomfortablePuritanismabouther；andmighthavebeen(perhapsshewas)theoriginalMrs。Grundy。Alittlemorewithdrawnintotheparloursatatall，strong，andseriousgirl，withafaceofbeautifulhonestyandapairofscissorsstuckinherbelt，doingasmallpieceofneedlework。Twofeetbehindthemsatahulkinglabourerwithahumorousfacelikewoodpaintedscarlet，withahugemugofmildbeerwhichhehadnottouched，andprobablywouldnottouchforhours。Onthehearthrugtherewasanequallymotionlesscat；andonthetableacopyof\'HouseholdWords\'。

Iwasconsciousofsomeatmosphere，stillandyetbracing，thatIhadmetsomewhereinliterature。Therewaspoetryinitaswellaspiety；andyetitwasnotpoetryaftermyparticulartaste。Itwassomehowatoncesolidandairy。ThenIrememberedthatitwastheatmosphereinsomeofWordsworth\'sruralpoems；whicharefullofgenuinefreshnessandwonder，andyetareinsomeincurablewaycommonplace。Thiswascurious；forWordsworth\'smenwereoftherocksandfells，andnotofthefenlandsorflats。Butperhapsitistheclearnessofstillwaterandthemirroredskiesofmeresandpoolsthatproducesthiscrystallinevirtue。PerhapsthatiswhyWordsworthiscalledaLakePoetinsteadofamountainpoet。

Perhapsitisthewaterthatdoesit。Certainlythewholeofthattownwaslikeacupofwatergivenatmorning。

Afterafewsentencesexchangedatlongintervalsinthemannerofrusticcourtesy，Iinquiredcasuallywhatwasthenameofthetown。TheoldladyansweredthatitsnamewasStilton，andcomposedlycontinuedherneedlework。ButIhadpausedwithmymuginair，andwasgazingatherwithasuddenlyarrestedconcern。\"Isuppose，\"Isaid，\"thatithasnothingtodowiththecheeseofthatname。”\"Oh，yes，\"sheanswered，withastaggeringindifference，\"theyusedtomakeithere。”

Iputdownmymugwithagravityfargreaterthanherown。\"ButthisplaceisaShrine!\"Isaid。\"PilgrimsshouldbepouringintoitfromwherevertheEnglishlegendhasenduredalive。Thereoughttobeacolossalstatueinthemarket-placeofthemanwhoinventedStiltoncheese。Thereoughttobeanothercolossalstatueofthefirstcowwhoprovidedthefoundationsofit。ThereshouldbeaburnishedtabletletintothegroundonthespotwheresomecourageousmanfirstateStiltoncheese，andsurvived。Onthetopofaneighbouringhill(ifthereareanyneighbouringhills)thereshouldbeahugemodelofaStiltoncheese，madeofsomerichgreenmarbleandengravenwithsomehaughtymotto:I

suggestsomethinglike\'Vernonsemperviret；sedStiltoniasempervirescit。\'\"Theoldladysaid，\"Yes，sir，\"andcontinuedherdomesticoccupations。

Afterastrainedandemotionalsilence，Isaid，\"IfItakeamealhereto-

nightcanyougivemeanyStilton？\"

\"No，sir；I\'mafraidwehaven\'tgotanyStilton，\"saidtheimmovableone，speakingasifitweresomethingthousandsofmilesaway。

\"Thisisawful，\"Isaid:foritseemedtomeastrangeallegoryofEnglandassheisnow；thislittletownthathadlostitsglory；andforgotten，sotospeak，themeaningofitsownname。AndIthoughtityetmoresymbolicbecausefromallthatoldandfullandvirilelife，thegreatcheesewasgone；andonlythebeerremained。AndeventhatwillbestolenbytheLiberalsoradulteratedbytheConservatives。Politelydisengagingmyself，Imademywayasquicklyaspossibletothenearestlarge，noisy，andnastytowninthatneighbourhood，whereIsoughtoutthenearestvulgar，tawdry，andavariciousrestaurant。

There(aftertriflingwithbeef，mutton，puddings，pies，andsoon)IgotaStiltoncheese。IwassomuchmovedbymymemoriesthatIwroteasonnettothecheese。Somecriticalfriendshavehintedtomethatmysonnetisnotstrictlynew；thatitcontains\"echoes\"(astheyexpressit)ofsomeotherpoemthattheyhavereadsomewhere。Here，atleast，arethelinesIwrote:-

SONNETTOASTILTONCHEESE

Stilton，thoushouldstbelivingatthishourAndsothouart。Norlosestgracethereby；

Englandhasneedofthee，andsohaveI——

SheisaFen。Farastheeyecanscour，LeagueaftergrassyleaguefromLincolntowerToStiltoninthefields，sheisaFen。

Yetthishighcheese，bychoiceoffenlandmen，Likeatallgreenvolcanoroseinpower。

Plainlivingandlongdrinkingarenomore，Andpurereligionreading\'HouseholdWords\'，AndsturdymanhoodsittingstillalldayShrink，likethischeesethatcrumblestoitscore；

Whilemydigestion，liketheHouseofLords，Theheaviestburdensonherselfdothlay。

IconfessIfeelmyselfasifsomeliteraryinfluence，somethingthathashauntedme，werepresentinthisotherwiseoriginalpoem；butitishopelesstodisentangleitnow。

THETHING

Thewindawokelastnightwithsonobleaviolencethatitwaslikethewarinheaven；andIthoughtforamomentthattheThinghadbrokenfree。

Forwindneverseemslikeemptyair。Windalwayssoundsfullandphysical，likethebigbodyofsomething；andIfanciedthattheThingitselfwaswalkinggiganticalongthegreatroadsbetweentheforestsofbeech。

Letmeexplain。ThevitalityandrecurrentvictoryofChristendomhavebeenduetothepoweroftheThingtobreakoutfromtimetotimefromitsenvelopingwordsandsymbols。Withoutthispowerallcivilisationstendtoperishunderaloadoflanguageandritual。Oneinstanceofthiswehearmuchinmoderndiscussion:theseparationoftheformfromthespiritofreligion。Butweheartoolittleofnumberlessothercasesofthesamestiffeningandfalsification；wearefartooseldomremindedthatjustaschurch-goingisnotreligion，soreadingandwritingarenotknowledge，andvotingisnotself-government。Itwouldbeeasytofindpeopleinthebigcitieswhocanreadandwritequicklyenoughtobeclerks，butwhoareactuallyignorantofthedailymovementsofthesunandmoon。

Thecaseofself-governmentisevenmorecurious，especiallyasonewatchesitforthefirsttimeinacountrydistrict。Self-governmentaroseamongmen(probablyamongtheprimitivemen，certainlyamongtheancients)outofanideawhichseemsnowtoosimpletobeunderstood。

Thenotionofself-governmentwasnot(asmanymodernfriendsandfoesofitseemtothink)thenotionthattheordinarycitizenistobeconsultedasoneconsultsanEncyclopaedia。Heisnottheretobeaskedalotoffancyquestions，toseehowheanswersthem。Heandhisfellowsaretobe，withinreasonablehumanlimits，mastersoftheirownlives。Theyshalldecidewhethertheyshallbemenoftheoarorthewheel，ofthespadeorthespear。Themenofthevalleyshallsettlewhetherthevalleyshallbedevastatedforcoalorcoveredwithcornandvines；themenofthetownshalldecidewhetheritshallbehoarywiththatchesorsplendidwithspires。

Oftheirownnatureandinstincttheyshallgatherunderapatriarchalchiefordebateinapoliticalmarket-place。Andincasetheword\"man\"bemisunderstood，Imayremarkthatinthismoralatmosphere，thisoriginalsoulofself-government，thewomenalwayshavequiteasmuchinfluenceasthemen。ButinmodernEnglandneitherthemennorthewomenhaveanyinfluenceatall。Inthisprimarymatter，themouldingofthelandscape，thecreationofamodeoflife，thepeopleareutterlyimpotent。Theystandandstareatimperialandeconomicprocessesgoingon，astheymightstareattheLordMayor\'sShow。

RoundaboutwhereIlive，forinstance，twochangesaretakingplacewhichreallyaffectthelandandallthingsthatliveonit，whetherforgoodorevil。Thefirstisthattheurbancivilisation(orwhateveritis)isadvancing；thattheclerkscomeoutinblackswarmsandthevillasadvanceinredbattalions。TheotheristhatthevastestatesintowhichEnglandhaslongbeendividedarepassingoutofthehandsoftheEnglishgentryintothehandsofmenwhoarealwaysupstartsandoftenactuallyforeigners。

Now，thesearejustthesortofthingswithwhichself-governmentwasreallysupposedtograpple。Peopleweresupposedtobeabletoindicatewhethertheywishedtoliveintownorcountry，toberepresentedbyagentlemanoracad。Idonotpresumetoprejudgetheirdecision；perhapstheywouldpreferthecad；perhapsheisreallypreferable。Isaythatthefillingofaman\'snativeskywithsmokeorthesellingofhisroofoverhisheadillustratethesortofthingsheoughttohavesomesayin，ifheissupposedtobegoverninghimself。Butowingtothestrangetrendofrecentsociety，theseenormousearthquakeshehastopassoverandtreatasprivatetrivialities。Intheorythebuildingofavillaisasincidentalasthebuyingofahat。InrealityitisasifallLancashirewerelaidwastefordeerforests；orasifallBelgiumwerefloodedbythesea。Intheorythesaleofasquire\'slandtoamoney-

lenderisaminorandexceptionalnecessity。InrealityitisathinglikeaGermaninvasion。SometimesitisaGermaninvasion。

Uponthishelplesspopulace，gazingattheseprodigiesandfates，comesroundabouteveryfiveyearsathingcalledaGeneralElection。Itisbelievedbyantiquarianstobetheremainsofsomesystemofself-

government；butitconsistssolelyinaskingthecitizenquestionsabouteverythingexceptwhatheunderstands。TheexaminationpaperoftheElectiongenerallyconsistsofsomesuchqueriesasthese:\"I。ArethegreenbiscuitseatenbythepeasantsofEasternLithuaniainyouropinionfitforhumanfood？II。ArethereligiousprofessionsofthePresidentoftheOrangeFreeStatehypocriticalorsincere？III。DoyouthinkthatthesavagesinPrusso-PortugueseEastBunyiplandareashappyandhygienicasthefortunatesavagesinFranco-BritishWestBunyipland？IV。

DidthelostLatinChartersaidtohavebeenexactedfromHenryIII

reservetherightoftheCrowntocreatepeers？V。WhatdoyouthinkofwhatAmericathinksofwhatMr。RooseveltthinksofwhatSirEldonGorstthinksofthestateoftheNile？VI。Detectsomedifferencebetweenthetwopersonsinfrock-coatsplacedbeforeyouatthiselection。”

Now，itneverwassupposedinanynaturaltheoryofself-governmentthattheordinarymaninmyneighbourhoodneedanswerfantasticquestionslikethese。HeisacitizenofSouthBucks，notaneditorof\'NotesandQueries\'。Hewouldbe，Iseriouslybelieve，thebestjudgeofwhetherfarmsteadsorfactorychimneysshouldadornhisownsky-line，ofwhetherstupidsquiresorcleverusurersshouldgovernhisownvillage。Butthesearepreciselythethingswhichtheoligarchswillnotallowhimtotouchwithhisfinger。Instead，theyallowhimanImperialdestinyanddivinemissiontoalter，undertheirguidance，allthethingsthatheknowsnothingabout。Thenameofselfgovernmentisnoisyeverywhere:theThingisthrottled。

Thewindsangandsplittheskylikethunderallthenightthrough；inscrapsofsleepitfilledmydreamswiththedivinediscordancesofmartyrdomandrevolt；IheardthehornofRolandandthedrumsofNapoleonandallthetonguesOfterrorwithwhichtheThinghasgoneforth:thespiritofourracealive。ButwhenIcamedowninthemorningonlyabranchortwowasbrokenoffthetreeinmygarden；andnoneofthegreatcountryhousesintheneighbourhoodwereblowndown，aswouldhavehappenediftheThinghadreallybeenabroad。